Mary Berry's Lashes by Michelle Madsen

Too rich, for one so well-baked

Unexpectedly caked in tarry crumbs

Of carbon black, Mary Berry’s lashes

Framing twinkles, glimmer cherries

Of ancient baking wisdom,

Steal the show

Bat-wings of approbation semaphore

Flashes of hot-scone glamour,

Glimmering treacle tart memories

Of how it was done in the 50s

Bake, rattle and roll

On an Aga, not a dancefloor

A second golden age, more

Home counties than Hollywood

Kitchen Aid your prop of choice

No call for hearing aids

To achieve the perfect bakers’ plait

Damask dimpled cheeks,

Choux buns steamed to perfection

Dusted with powder, a fine icing

Creased with disappointments

　

My buns have sunk

My sweetbreads are salted

Pastry as underbaked and wet as her mascara

And yet, through my dripping sweat

I see pity shining from her tiny eyes

A twitch of the neck, a shudder of pride

And she concedes that at least I’ve tried

Many have failed where you succeed Mary

Ghost of kitchens past, queen of cakes

An accolade from you and I’m baked

Michelle is the host of Hammer and Tongue Camden, the London arm of the UK's largest slam poetry network. She also runs and hosts I'm Sorry I Haven't Haiku and performs at festivals around the country.