A cake once seen in shadows thrown
By sunlight on my counter clean,
Was ‘disappeared’ by hands unknown
And taken to a foreign scene.
No larder this, or biscuit tin
Played host to baked and loved up carbs,
Instead some hands of spite and sin
Did take my cake to other parts.
I saw the man, whose mouth of crumbs
Did prove his pleasure at my cake,
And I with fingers and two thumbs
Did shame this cake thief with a shake,
Instead of shame the cake thief shouted
‘Am off the diet – I am delighted.’
Helen Lederer is an actress, comedian and writer. She's possibly best known for her role as the dippy Catriona in the absolutely fabulous Absolutely Fabulous.